ET TU, BRUTE?

Of all the classic literature that I was forced to read in high school I probably enjoyed Charles Dickens the most, but even with his stories I would opt to read the abridged versions. (A man that gets paid by the word usually writes one too many of them.) Shakespeare, on the other hand, I never cared for. There is something in my brain that doesn't allow me to understand a sonnet or a couplet, or even a couple of sonnets, and forget about me ever appreciating the nuances of the iambic pentameter. And if it wasn't for Shakespeare, I probably would never have developed my fear of soothsayers. Gypsies, you know, small hands, smell like cabbage.

In the age Before Christ, Julius Caesar was the leader of the Roman World, created the 365 day calendar and was luvah to Cleopatra, but was he assassinated because he suffered from diarrhea one day?

During Caesar's reign as dictator over the Roman World he was given every title imaginable, from "Father of the Fatherland" to "Dictator for Life," to even "Naughtious Maximus," (but that one usually in private with Cleo). At one particular senate meeting, Caesar was told he was going to be awarded a new honor but did not stand for the news. Some supporters of Caesar say this was due to a sudden attack of diarrhea, some historians say epilepsy, and some say it was because of his ego. Either way, he didn't stand and he didn't approve of the title and as a result the assassination plot was ago.



On March 15, 44 BC, in an attempt to return Rome to a normal Republic, the Senators got together and killed Caesar stabbing him 23 times. (Lost fans take that to mean what you will) Ironically though his death lead to a Roman civil war which ultimately led to the establishment of a permanent autocracy by Caesar's adopted heir, Gaius Octavianus. Oops. As for Brutus…well he later committed suicide.

Before all of this, Ides was just a Roman term to mark the middle of the month, nothing creepy at all about it. But because of Shakespeare's love for foreshadowing and George McFly's tragic alternate 1985 death, the Ides of March will forever be engraved in our minds as a metaphor for impending doom.