Sunday, June 28, 2009

SEAT HOGS

Watch out John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and that other guy. There is a new vigilante in town...the Seat Hog.



Young people with strong backs and a good set of legs BEWARE! New York City is waging war on people who will not give up their seat to the elderly, pregnant and/or the disabled. Those who decline to give up a seat on request face up to a $50 fine and repeat offenders can face up to 10 days in jail.

Oh great! So now it's illegal to be an @sshole. That's what New York is known for and if they take that away from us, we might as well be one of those filthy Canadians. And if that's not enough they are wasting tax payers money putting up these ridiculous signs as warnings.


The posters also explain that “not all disabilities are visible.” The disabled include people who are legally blind, have congestive heart failure, are being given chemotherapy or have epilepsy. Even someone with a cane is eligible to ask for a priority seat. Similar posters appeared on subways and buses in 1999 and 2004, but didn't mention the legal ramifications.

This is as ridiculous as the Good Samaritan law Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer were arrested for...and we all know how that turned out.



And as a final thought I would love to see any elderly handicapped pregnant person ask the homeless man I saw last night, who was sleeping on the subway with filthy bare feet taking up three seats as he laid face down into the hand rail, for his seat. I think it would be a good fight.

Friday, June 26, 2009

ARTIST OF THE MILLENIUM



Well okay it turns out that he wasn't but to Britney Spears and a lot of people he was!!...despite all of his...hmm hmm...eccentricities. But lets look beyond everything that made him Wacko Jacko and ignore the plastic surgery, the purchase of the elephant man's bones, the mid-afternoon naps in his hyperbaric chamber, Bubbles, the plastic surgery, the sex allegations, Lisa Marie Presley, the plastic surgery, the skin bleaching, Neverland ranch, his catcher gear outfits, his crazy swine-flu masks, the balcony incident and lets not forget the plastic surgery...but let's remember him for who he really was...A PATENT GENIUS!!!

We all know the man has more moves than a box of Ex-Lax on the dance floor but I am and will be continually blown away by his 45 degree lean in the smooth criminal video. One might say that it was all cable tricks but he was also able to replicate it on stage. AMAZING!!!

If you're impatient you can just jump to the 7:15 marker.


So what's the trick you might ask. Well here it is but be forewarned IT IS a

SPOILER ALERT:

Michael Jackson and two of his costume designers obtained a US patent (US5255452) in 1993 on "Methods and Means for Creating Anti Gravity Illusion". The invention outlines how a special pair of shoes attaches to a stage to allow leaning forward beyond the centre of gravity of the wearer of the shoes. Makes perfect sense right? The heel of the dancers’ shoes featured a triangular cut out that could be hitched onto the peg, anchoring the dancers to lean much farther forward, and thus blowing the world’s collective mind. The simplicity IS the genius!