Sunday, April 6, 2008


To secede or not to secede, that is the question. South Carolina tried it…twice. Sure everyone knows about the Civil War, but 30 years before that in 1833, they tried to leave while the US was under the presidency of Andrew Jackson. Jackson's reaction was pretty much "you try, you die," and needless to say South Carolina backed down, but only until James Buchanan took office. James Buchanan, our first "homosexual" president, put up little to no resistance to keep South Carolina part of the union. Sure you can look at James Buchanan as a weak president, but don't states have a right to secede?

Since secession isn't discussed in the constitution, the right to secede falls under the Tenth Amendment. Any power not delegated to the federal government by the states, and not prohibited to the states by the Constitution, remains a right of the states. This defense, along with a clause in the ratification of the Constitution that permitted states to withdraw from the Union if the government became oppressive was the justification that let James Buchanon allow the Southern states to leave in peace. With that said, I think it's about time to let Northwest Angle leave the Union and become a member of America's National Park. A little place I like to call, Canada.

Northwest Angle, Minnesota, with population maxing at 152 people, is trying to secede from the union, not because of slavery or taxes but because of fish. Fishing is Northwest Angle. That is what they do. That is who they are. Hell, kids fish there at recess. Sadly though the water surrounding ol' Angle is Canadian water. So when Ontario passed a new law saying Americans staying at Northwest Angle can no longer keep fish they catch, it meant disaster for the Angle's residents. And since the fish dilema is no slavery issue America pretty much ignores them.

But fishing can be dangerous:

So come on people, lets cut the umbilical cord and let them go. Technically speaking, the Angle is only a part of the union because of a mapping error made after the war of 1812, when we agreed with Great Britain that the American border would end at the 49th parallel. We accidentally took the Northwest angle, who's whopping 500 square miles of land, falls a shade north of the border. Good job David Thompson!


Tuesday, April 1, 2008


"This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three-hundred and sixty-four."-Mark Twain

I would have never realized how lame the origin of April Fool's Day was unless I read it for myself. I always pictured April Fool's to have started because of some kind of crazy act, like the British aristocracy releasing plagued rats into a peasant's house as a lark or a French King maybe inviting a peasant to dine with his royalty only to send him to the guillotine. You know, something lighthearted. But sadly my findings just brought me back to the Christian church, the calendar and that damn vernal equinox. Oh yeah...and let us not forget…the French.

Basically, Julius Caesar's calendar (the Julian Calendar) had a few flaws to it that screwed up the timing of Easter and the vernal equinox. So in 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar cleverly titling it, the Gregorian Calendar. This is the calendar that we know and live by today. Pope G's decree was that New Year's Day would be celebrated on Jan. 1st, not April 1st. (Technically it was March 25 but the celebration lasted from then until the beginning of April. They knew how to party back then.) In France, apparently not everyone got the memo and this led to some confusion and people celebrating New Year's on the wrong day. (insert laugh track here) The ones who made the mistake were laughed at by their peers and had dead fish sneakily placed on their backs. Seriously. The French can be so cruel!!